Should My Aspiring Content Creator Friend Stop Exploiting Me for Content?

One Side: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it comes like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me serving as her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend helping her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with someone. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: noticing the details, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not all people likes being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private filmmaker, but friends support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a clip now and then would be fun for her. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish our friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She must to respect Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?